Dwelling on missed opportunities or mistakes is human nature.  A colleague recently lamented that she had left a great job to find a better one, only to realize that the grass was much greener in her original position.  She repeatedly regretted her decision and in some ways was paralyzed by it.  Researchers have found that obsessing over regrets has a negative impact on mood and sleep, can increase impulsivity, and can be a risk factor for binge eating and misusing alcohol (Taitz, 2019).

Participant memories about negative career experiences were quite clear – even those long ago.  Reflection should be positive.

When asked about career regrets in a study of Canadian technology executives the most common answer was denial of negative reflection, “Oh I don’t dwell on  the past” (Fauteux, 2017).  When pressed during interviews, participants described a range of regrets including assignments not pursued, transfers not accepted, promotions not lobbied for, and other moments in time that could have been (better).  Their memories were quite clear about decisions made long ago.  No doubt you have some career regrets, I do! Its important not to let them get a hold of you.

Psychologists suggest that in order to avoid regret spiral you need to interrupt your negative thought pattern and look to the positive.  Taitz, 2019 describes this as interrupting your obsessing and treating yourself like your ideal mentor would.  Don’t beat yourself up – practice self compassion.  Her science explains once again what we know intuitively but sometimes can’t put into practice – see the sliver lining.  Life long learners who use reflection may know this best – there is positive value in every experience.

Kintsugi is a Japanese art which literally translated means “golden repair.” It is a philosophy of repairing broken things, including imperfections which are considered part of an item’s history.  So, life long learners, take time to reflect, look for the positive in every experience, and repair the broken thing(s) which are part of your career.